What is chronic pain like?

Chronic pain is like the endless sound of death metal music—super distorted guitars and a gun machine beat with no melody in sight. The singer grinds out what sounds like the Devil’s throaty pitch. The pain, the music, rattles my skull all day and all night. Or sometimes the pain sounds like a large rock being run over by a lawn mower, the blade grinding the stone in an ear-splitting roar. I cover my ears and it still doesn’t go away.

Chronic pain is like the stench of rotten meat or burnt flesh, stinging my nose, my eyes, and making me retch—over and over again. The awful smell follows me around every day.

Chronic pain is like the endless sight of a diseased foot with fungus or pus-filled sores. Or like a maggot-infested corpse. These repulsive visions remain in my head all the time even when I try to see something beautiful like a rose or a sunset.

Chronic pain tastes like this horrible-tasting antibiotic I had to take, which had a bitter, metallic aftertaste that made me wince and gag every time I had to swallow it. Or sometimes the pain tastes like sour milk. The horrible taste never leaves my mouth.

What is chronic pain like to you?

Cheers and good health!

Colitis Chick

My mad colon

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The Simple Things in Life

Living with chronic pain for about ten years has made me appreciate the simple things more. Just being able to get out of bed in the morning is cause for celebration. This probably sounds pathetic to healthy people and that’s okay. I never would have thought that the highlight of my day would be a morning walk. That morning walk is kind of cool though, sort of Zen-like with the way the sun rises over the mountains in a mix of dramatic shadows and red-gold light. I could use more moments like that to keep the stress away.

Life used to move fast for me with full time work and hanging at bars/clubs on the weekend, but now my favorite day is Sunday—movie day here at the house. Because of my illness, I can’t drink anymore and staying out all night makes me feel like crap. So, instead of going out drinking and listening to live bands (or being in the band because I used to play in a hard rock band), I look forward to movie day.

Other simple things I enjoy are gazing at sunrises, sunsets, moon and starlit skies from my yard. I also keep myself from going insane by writing (I am a published author) and reading anything from historical novels, fantasy or paranormal romances. This is much different from my old fast-paced life. And it doesn’t bother me that much either. In fact, I have grown used to this slower pace and I actually like it.

I think it’s better to surrender to the illness and roll with the changes it brings. It seems to work for me. Find that Zen-like place that makes you feel good.

Cheers and good health!

Colitis Chick

My mad colon

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Playing Football with Colitis?

Can a person really play football when they have ulcerative colitis? I'm posing this question because I needed one of my doctors to fill out my jury duty excuse form and I was completely caught by surprise by something he said. Since I had an appointment already set up with my doctor that treats me for colitis, I had him fill out the form. He said that he didn't think that ulcerative colitis would be a good enough excuse to get me out of jury duty because there are guys that can play football with the disease. Wow, really? First of all, I would rather play football then go to jury duty. Who wouldn't? But I have to know if this is something that is common because I sure don't think I could play football with colitis, but then maybe I'm a lot sicker than most people get with this disease because I also have a secondary complication that may or may not be related to the colitis. I'm beginning to wonder if I am an oddball though. I have to wonder if these 'guys' are young because that would make sense. Someone in their twenty's would probably be in better overall health than someone in their forty's. It probably also depends on whether there is a secondary condition present like in my case.

I don't think my doctor was being sarcastic, but I don't know. He filled out the form for me. After I left the doctor's office, it had me wondering though if he thinks like my dad. My dad believes in 'walking it off' when you are sick or hurt. And then I felt like maybe I am being a baby as far as my illness goes. Maybe I should toughen it out. I think maybe I over think things too much and this probably doesn't help me stay healthy. I shouldn't care what other people think. Everyone is different when it comes to how they handle an illness. There are some people that are really sick and can still maintain an active lifestyle. I guess I'm not one of those people and maybe I just need to accept it. I have already tried to keep doing everything I used to do and when I do that I end up feeling sicker because I over did it. I think it's about knowing your body and knowing what you can and can't do. And not what other people think you should do. I just need to remember that.

If there is one perk from having a chronic illness, it’s being able to get out of jury duty. At least I hope so.

Cheers and good health!

Colitis Chick

My mad colon

Technorati Tags: ulcerative colitis,football,coping with colitis,jury duty excuses