Holiday food and colitis

I used to look forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas because of all the great food  my mom would make. But that was then and this is now—colitis rules my body and decides what I can eat.

Not being able to eat everything I want to eat has made me feel depressed and sometimes I avoid going to these food fests. Thankfully, family gatherings are mandatory and I would rather take a chance on the food rather than make my family feel slighted.

So instead of focusing on what I can’t eat, I try to focus on what I can eat. At Thanksgiving I was excited because I could eat turkey and mashed potatoes, without the gravy of course. I even made an awesome sandwich with my dinner roll, some turkey and mashed potatoes. I had to avoid any dishes like stuffing that contained onions, but I’m not a fan of stuffing anyway so that wasn’t a problem for me. For desert, I had small pieces of chocolate pie and cream cheese pie. I came away from the gathering without a stomach ache.

Now Christmas is coming up and I have to choose my food carefully again. My mom said she is having different types of soup. I can do soup as long as it isn’t spicy. I’m sure there will be other side dishes and deserts that I will have to choose wisely.

I’ve discovered since being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis that the one thing I have to avoid is stuffing myself. It has taken a lot of will power and lots of memories of having horrible stomach aches to convince me to not over eat.

The holidays can be difficult for those of us that have to watch what we eat, but with a little caution and discipline, the holidays can be a joyous time.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Happy Holidays, Happy eating!

Colitis Chick

My mad colon

 

 

Coping with change

There’s the person I was and then there’s the person I’ve become. I went from being independent, active, determined and relatively healthy to becoming dependent, less active and unable to work, scared and somewhat bitter. For me, ulcerative colitis is more than just having diarrhea. UC zaps my energy and I feel sick all the time. Sometimes I think that maybe I didn’t change that much after all because I am still determined to fight this illness. If I wasn’t already a determined person, I think I would have given up long ago. I am battling depression and close to losing the fight. It’s not a fun place to be and determination is my strongest ally.

I think people learn to adapt to their situation and that’s what makes humans survivors. I have survived eleven years of this hell. Some of the ways I cope are by writing and reading, which are great escapes from reality. I try to spend time with friends and family—I’ve succeeded in the family part of this, but am failing in the friends’ part, unless you count the Internet as spending time with friends. I suppose that’s better than nothing. The truth is I have retreated from social situations like my writer’s group. I still belong to the group, but I don’t attend the meetings anymore, mainly because I am just too tired and I have to be realistic about what I am able to do in a day. I have to make sacrifices.

It’s just hard sometimes to think that I used to be so active and happy doing something I loved and now I struggle through each day. Sometimes I feel like I am falling into a black hole or just barely keeping my head out of the water. Overwhelmed is the best way to describe this feeling.

Change is never easy. I have to put that person I was away in a drawer somewhere and concentrate on the person I am now, to focus on the positives in my life—a caring family, devoted husband, my writing, my dogs and try to accept what is and forget what was. I have evolved even if it’s not the evolution I envisioned or wanted.

I see only one option if I am to live a somewhat normal life: accept what is.

Colitis Chick

My Mad Colon