Dating, Sex and Colitis

Dating, sex and colitis—three words that you don't usually see together. There are ways, though, to make a date or a love session go smoothly. I like to think that anything is possible by following a few simple guidelines.

I consider myself lucky because when I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, I had been married for about ten years so we were well past the embarrassment stage. Everyone with colitis knows all about explosive diarrhea, and if they don't, they learn about it pretty quickly. It's one of the reasons why I don't leave my house during a flare. And if I were dating someone, I would probably stay away until I had it under control. I think it depends on where you are in the relationship. The first date is probably not the time to reveal a chronic illness and it would be wise to eat foods that don't have you running to the bathroom before that first date. If you are at that later stage where you can do things in front of each other without being embarrassed then it's probably okay to be around your mate during a flare.

I think it's much more embarrassing for a woman to be the one with colitis. I mean, men always make loud noises in the bathroom and it never seems to embarrass them, but women are not supposed to do anything that might make them less ladylike. As a woman with colitis this seems unfair to me, but sometimes it helps the embarrassing situation to laugh and maybe make a joke about it. If your date has a terrible sense of humor, you probably don't want to date her/him anyway. Some other things to do to try and mask the sound in the bathroom are to run water, cough or flush the toilet at the right time. Or pray that the bathroom fan is loud enough.

Now, sex could be a different matter because having embarrassing noises and/or other messy incidents might ruin the whole romantic love fest. How come they don't show real life things like this on the Lifetime channel movies? Romance is always so perfect on television and in the movies when in real life, it's anything but perfect. Personally, I wouldn't have sex when I am having a bad flare. First of all, I don't feel well at all when I'm in a flare and certainly don't feel sexy. Again, this depends on the stage of the relationship and whether your mate is squeamish. A couple of things to do to make it a pleasant experience are to avoid eating or drinking anything before the tryst and to put a towel down. This also might be the time for tender sex rather than the ride 'em hard kind of lovemaking. Just a thought. I think in these kinds of situations, humor is the best way to deal with it.

Cheers and good health!

Colitis Chick

My Mad Colon